AUDE FLYER 03/2005

Spring is just around the corner..hurrah…etc.

Mmm, probably not quite, but I did see the first almond blossoms today, tentatively showing themselves on a tree bent double in an ice laden wind. Isn’t nature amazing?

During the extreme cold snap recently I ventured forth in our noble earth covered Kangoo to cross the ‘pass’ to Chalabre. Being a town dweller, the weather seemed not at all alarming, quite sunny, the light dusting of snow had disappeared, and a few birds were tweeting. I had assumed with extreme stupidness that as there was no snow in Limoux, it would have gone from everywhere else other than very high mountainous ski type places.

I got to ‘St Benoit’ and suddenly it was like Alaska, no tarmac to be seen, trees had become strange new shapes under layers of snow and it was….totally quiet.

There was one car in front of me, not a range rover or anything, something even weedier than ours. I had a choice, go back and cancel the meeting I had planned, and drink tea, or….be reckless, brave and, as I realised within 10 minutes, very silly.

I drove on, gently skidding and sliding, past people arguing over how to put snow chains on, and eerie, evil-eyed, packs of wolves…not really, but it was easy to imagine they could be out there, lurking behind clumps of pine trees. I kept up with my new found friends in the car in front. It’s interesting how one suddenly feels a sort of allegience with another person in a suddenly rather worrying situation. Of course they might be axe weilding maniacs?….probably not in a claret coloured Clio with two embroidered cushions in the back window however.

Thoughts began to cross my mind…

What if….

1/ the car breaks down?…You have very pathetic shoes on, more suited to walking around Gallery Lafayette, and it is about 5 km through snow drifts to the nearest village.

2/ How does one catch a rabbit, skin it with a biro and cook it on a fire which one would have to make by rubbing two damp sticks together.

3/ What is a bivouac?, can you make it out of car seats and one small blanket covered in cat hairs.

4/ I wish I had brought some crisps.

Eventually after a horrible 40 minutes I saw the first signs of Chalabre and realised that I was so tense that I was driving with my nose practically against the screen and I had a terrible headache.

I drank a very welcome large coffee, increased the headache, and rang Mark from the call box. He said the others had rung to cancel the meeting…no surprise. I had another coffee and sat looking at photos in my little family in Limoux and wondering if I would ever see them again. After a discussion with an elderly resident of Chalabre about routes, an intention to buy snow chains, and stocking up with a couple of croissants I set off to Limoux, this time via Puivert, which luckily had been cleared fairly well.

I was interested to note that the inhabitants of the claret Clio also stopped in Chalabre. An elderly couple, immaculately dressed, bearing Blanquette and fancy cake boxes, they stepped from the car, the lady tutting gently as the slushy snow adhered to her cream high heels.

I think fear of missing lunch with the friends who were welcoming them indoors was probably far more alarming than death from bears, axe murderers or skidding over a ravine.

Next year I will buy some snow chains.

By the way I was interested to read in the Guardian online the other day that there was a riot in the new Ikea that had opened in Edmonton near the North Circular in London. People had been queuing for hours..? Other people started pushing in, and there was a huge uncontrolled surge through the main door…security guards couldn’t cope, and ambulances had to be called.

I am going to keep this image in my head, it will be useful. Any time we say to each other how can we cope with URSSAF, how can we survive the French system etc, I shall remind Mark that we are not living on the North Circular, amongst crowds of people desperate enough to riot over bits of MDF called Splolt.